I had a very pregnant miniature goat.  Oh, how I loved my little goats.  I was so excited to have more little babies and also this would mean that I could start milking my goats again!   It had been a while since I had any of my goats give birth.  My time for the past several years had been focused on taking care of my husband.  He had been in a battle with stomach cancer and it was a long hard road.   He had suffered terribly with this and ultimately passed away this past year.   I think part of the reason for having baby goats was to help me.  New birth on my little farm always seemed to bring hope and happiness.   

I was so excited! It had been a few years since my goats actually gave birth so I was a little “ rusty” at knowing the signs of labor.  I continued to check on them often and I researched and studied the signs.  As the time got closer, I began to check on them multiple times each day.  I could see the changes.  I knew we were close.  As each day passed, I would think “ Today is the day”.   Each day continued to pass and no baby goats.  I started to get a little concerned.  I didn’t think I was that far off on my planning.  

I was actually happy to be distracted with the up-and-coming birth of my baby goats. This month ( January ) my husband and I would have made 31 years of marriage. He had been gone almost 9 months and it was hard to think about memories with him. I tried to stay busy. I was tired of crying.   

I continued to check on my pregnant goat often.  On the evening of January 7th, I had a feeling that she might give birth very soon.  I had a plan.  I got my beach chair, made a thermos of hot coffee,  got my flashlight,  and my blanket.  It was cold outside and very dark.   So I set everything up and just sat there and just stared at her.   She was comfortable and sleeping soundly.   Nothing happened.  I sat out there for at least 4 hours.  I got cold and tired and the coffee was no longer hot.   I thought, “ I can go inside for a few hours and take a little nap”.   So that is exactly what I did. I looked at the clock before I went to sleep and it was 11:30 pm.   I woke up later in a panic! I looked at the clock and it was 2:00 am! I grabbed my flashlight and ran towards the barn as fast as I could feeling still blurry-eyed and half asleep.  As I looked at her I saw that she definitely had more signs!  I thought “ Whew! I made it”. I figured that I had a little more time so I went back in the house and made a fresh pot of coffee.   As soon as I came back to the barn, I sat down in my beach chair, I looked up towards my little pregnant goat ….. at exactly that moment ….. at that very instant she began to push and that baby goat very quickly started coming out! That baby came out very very fast! It only took about 2 – 3 minutes at the most! I jumped up in the excitement and sat next to her with my little flashlight.  It was so very dark.  As the baby came out I wiped its little face.  It was so tiny and so precious. I got to see it take its first breath. As I sat there, I realized that it was now January 8th, a very poignant day.  It was our wedding anniversary.   I had tried so hard to not think about this day because it made me so sad, but it’s like I could hear in my heart  “ This little goat was born today on January 8th for a reason……….it’s a gift to you ….. to remind you that everything is OK and will continue to be OK “.  Last year on our anniversary he was already in the hospital fighting for his life.  Here I was sitting in the dark ……..on the ground ……..watching the most amazing thing …….” knowing” that it was much bigger than just a little goat giving birth.  If I had been a few minutes late …..I would have missed it …… and the timing of the day …. the timing of it all ……. How?  I was reminded that those moments are always around us.  We can see them if we will just be still for a moment and look and listen to the “promptings “ or our “gut feelings”.  Whatever we call it, it was real for me this day.   I was so thankful.